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Category: BDSM 101 Articles

BDSM 101: BDSM Tip Sheet for Beginners

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This is a great article for people new to BDSM by Lady Green and Jay Wiseman. BDSM Tip Sheet for Beginners. (Leads to external site.)


Consent Matters.

Consent Matters.


BDSM 101: What do I wear?

Q: I’m new. What do I wear to a BDSM club? This is going to sound like a smart-assed answer, but I swear it’s not: clothes. LOL Seriously. Here at the Tampa Bay Phoenix Club, our dress code is that you need to be street-legal through the door. What does that mean? It means when…


What is “FemDom Friday”?

I identify as a Dominant female. And here at the Tampa Bay Phoenix Club, we run a regular event called “FemDom Friday.” (Usually every third Friday, but make sure to check our Calendar to verify it’s on the schedule.) But what does that mean? “What is FemDom Friday?” “How do you meet FemDoms?” “What happens?” “Can…


BDSM101: Will I be “safe?”

“Will I be ‘safe’ if I come to an event at ____?” “I don’t have a collar. Will someone grab me and start playing with me?” These are questions I’ve heard too many times to count. (Thank you, poorly researched romance books by vanilla writers, and clips at BDSM porn sites.) You can fill in…


BDSM101: “Am I too _____ for BDSM?”

“Am I too _____ for BDSM?” tl;dr answer: No.* *As long as the ___ question isn’t “young.” You must be at least 18 years old, or whatever the age of legal adulthood is in your place of residence. I get this question at least once a week from readers who’ve discovered my Suncoast Series books…


BDSM101: No.

No. It is one of the shortest sentences in the English language. It is a complete sentence, with absolutely zero requirements to elaborate, explain, justify, or otherwise fill in the blanks. No. Here’s a hint to the newbies: A GOOD Dominant/Top will accept a NO without losing their shit like a three-year-old denied a candy…


Where do you start?

(This post first appeared on The Playroom blog.) One of the most common questions I get from people not in the lifestyle, or new to the lifestyle, is, “Where do I find others? How do I get started? What do I do?” First of all, let me start by saying, as I’ve said before, there…


Free-ranging submissives.

(This post first appeared on The Playroom blog.) I’m going to post a series of quickie articles inspired by questions I get so frequently (or see others ask elsewhere) that they’re practically turning into BDSM tropes. Unfortunately, the fact that they’re so often used in BDSM fiction doesn’t help shine light on the reality. Today’s topic: Free-ranging…